The Complexity of Temporal Mechanics, Robot Friction and the audacity of cinematic sagas which think they need a fourth film

The Terminator franchise is probably one of the most well known, not only in this time but the future. For those pedants unaware of the concept;

The Terminator
In the distant future, humanity has created a sentient computer, Skynet, to which we entrusted our entire defence network to, so it could efficiently protect us from outside threats. It, in it's huge and humming mother board filled glory, decides that the only major threat to mankind is mankind itself. So, to protect us, it devises a plan in which it starts a nuclear war so we give it even more power. It then enslaves the species and keeps a few of us alive, for reasons unknown.
In the even more distant future (roughly now) rebels are causing quite the difficulty for the Masters of Humanity. So to try and stop us lot from being a pain, our tin-based masters have thought of this plan where they send back the Governor of California to stop Sarah Conner from ever spawning the leader of the rebels, John Conner. John is obviously a little worried at this point, and decides to send back Kyle Reese (who turns out to be his father, in a rather confusing twist of quantum-plot) so that Kyle can team up with John's mother to protect her. And so they can stop any of this from happening in the first place. Kyle, at this point, is unaware of the fact that he is the father of his commander, but probably realises that there's something going on post-love making.
They stop Arnie, protect her long enough for gestation to begin. But Kyle, the wonder-dad he is, goes and gets himself killed.

The Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Ten years later, our bucket based buddies send back another “Terminator” to kill the now (oddly pubescent for a ten year old) John, who is living in care, As his mother is in a mental institution for blithering on about walking toasters and Robot Rabbits which do a lot more than please lonely older women.
Future John catches wind of this and sends back a reprogrammed Arnie-bot 3000 (although where he gets it from is a mystery) to go and save himself from the Terminator Mark II. There's some side-plot where bits of the first Arnie have been found and are being researched by the eventual creators of Skynet.
This new bot has quite a few tricks up his ever morphing sleeve, and makes life annoyingly difficult for John, Sarah and Arnie. But don't worry, there's some really hot liquid metal to get rid of; him, Arnie, any of the files and research on the intelligent robots etc.
Now; as there is nothing to work on; surely there can't be a big-bad-bot, right?

The Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.
Wrong.


I'll admit; my grasp on Quantum, the temporal or, even, science is somewhat lacking in existence. But there's quite a large issue I can't quite fathom with this time-travel lark. As an example;
John sends back Kyle to protect his mother. So she can then work towards stopping things from going down the shit-pan. But if none of this ever happened, then there would be no need to send back Kyle to inadvertently impregnate Sarah. And then there would be no John to send back Kyle, who helps stop the Arniegeddon. So it would happen anyway, so then John would send back Kyle to protect his mother. So she can then work towards stopping things from going down the shit-pan. But if none of this ever happened, then there would be no need to send back Kyle to inadvertently impregnate Sarah. And then there would be no John to send back Kyle, who helps stop the Arniegeddon. So it would happen anyway, so then John would send back... You see?
Now I know this is picked up on in Rise of the Machine. John and some wench are in a cave, like the terrorists they are, and John realises that his whole life has been pre-determined [Side Note 1]. He then knows that everything he will do will be pointlessly repetitive and will amount to very little, the robots will always rule and everything they attempt to do in the past will do nothing as it is in the past (however, there's quite a nice message in all this. That you shouldn't be too focused on the past, but more on the present and future. But I'm sure that is a little tough to decipher through all the epic explosions and catchphrases). All very depressing if you ask me.
Also, how clever can these robots be if they've never thought about temporal predestination? [Side Note 2].

If we're going to start getting really pedantic about the entire concept..
John mentions that the only reason Arnie and himself had no weapons, Arnie looks like a bloke and they're both starkers; is that “Only organic matter can go through time”.
When you say organic, how exact is this? Because there's iron, potassium (which make up, a fairly vital part of our bodies, THE BONES), magnesium and some other none-biological matter which feature inside us. Exact enough for Magneto to kill a bloke in X-men 1 [Side note 3]. Surely Kyle would feel a little bit “woozy” after going through the machine? He'd be missing some, albeit, fairly none-consequential vitamins (enough for his body to feel significantly different to how it does when working with all its parts). He'd need a good long kip and some decent food to counter-act all this time-travelling business.
And how is it that 3 inches of skin manage to confuse the Tardis from not realising that Arnie's a Furby? I'm not sure we should be trusting this machine, If it can't tell that under all that bravado beats the cold robot heart of evil-programming.
If nothing but organic matter can go through the temporal bubble, how can in, Judgement Day, Stretch Armstrong get through? He changes quite frequently into not only other people, but quite pointy objects. Christ Alive, that lass in the third one grows a gun from her elbow! They don't bleed like Arnie. His is actually organically covered, at least. They're some strange metal.
Like Arnie's gun-ridden body, there's too many holes in the idea to completely finish. I can't even begin to get started, without the fear of some deadly seizure taking hold and caressing me into the sweet embrace of death. But maybe someone will send back a machine to save me, but we all know how that ends.

I'm going to confess something now; I haven't seen the fourth Terminator film.
This isn't because I haven't managed to “get round to it” like so many episodes of “The Sopranos”, but because in my mind it doesn't exist. It's a little like the fourth Indiana Jones film.
Sorry?
Oh yeah, that doesn't exist either. There's only 3 of each.
But from what I do know about it, other than Christian Bale being an awful piece of biology, is that it does seem to ruin the whole idea which the only 3 REAL films set up.
Leave it at three, it's the magic number. And don't even try to justify “The Sarah Conner Chronicles”.


Side Note 1: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Predeterminism
Side note 2: J. Kenneth Grider
Side Note 3: Just see X-Men 1. It's a pretty good film anyway.

The Economics of Pokémon

So, for our first subject we begin with every bodies favourite:

The Economics of Pokemon.

It was 1776 that the father of modern Economics, the great Adam Smith, first published his masterpiece 'The Wealth of Nations'. It was here that he first explained what is now basic economic theory, such as the need for balance between Supply and Demand (for employment as well as production) while also explaining the most efficient way to distribute and train labour for the modern business. It is clear, that all capitalist countries now respond to a more evolved form of Smith's work, and those who do not exploit the later work of Maynard Keynes and John Forbes Nash after him will find themselves stagnant and unproductive. With basic economic theory in mind then; we delve into the world of Pokemon.

Those who have played/seen/enjoyed Pokemon over the years will know it's basic principles: There is a world, not too dissimilar from our own, in which there are creatures called Pokemon (or Pocket Monsters) which all have incredible power. Some can breath and manipulate fire; while others can control things with their minds or literally shake the ground with the their movement, and so, the humans do what all humans would do in a place with these creatures, they make them fight.

And that's where the world appears to end. There is no other activity than fighting. Or at least, there's no other activity which is not involved somehow with the fighting, the existence or the collection of these monsters.

You could be a doctor?... for Pokémon.

How about a fireman? Don't need them. "Squirtle used Water gun".

Electrician? Pikachu.

Historian? You only really study the history of Pokémon.

Gardener? It appears you can't do that, as "Lawnmower" is a little too "super effective" on Bellsprouts and PETA then get on your backs.

There are no homeless or poor people as you can always get money by simply; catching a Pidgey, training it against Rattata (Side note 1), and then fighting other trainers so the give you money. But surely that's not quite true, if they all took the occupation of animal tamer, getting money from each other, where did the money originally come from?

And so we reach the main point of the piece. In the wonderful world of Pokémon new money only seems to come from a few sources: Meowth/Persian's move 'Pay Day' in which they create money from seemingly nowhere(which of course should be illegal as it is the very nature of fraud and money laundering) the few limited jobs in Kanto/Johto etc. And from beating Team Rocket who's funding is mainly from the black market and so therefore any new money gained from them and cycled into the normal economy is a boost. But this is simply not enough to support a nation.

A-HA! I hear you shout; but on Pokémon Red, I had LOADS of money to spend on full heals and revives! Yes, I know you did, but all that money you got was from defeating the poor trainers lazily slouching on the side of the road instead of pro-actively seeking to strengthen their forces. And all the money they got was from all those trainer battles you weren't there to see, in which Bug Catcher Phil got the shit smashed out of him by Bird Catcher Gustaf; an all the money Bug Catcher Phil got was from (I imagine) somehow outwitting that bitch Psychic Glenda who always gave you problems with that Drowzee that is somehow weak to a caterpillar. As cunningly explained, the majority of money in the Pokémon world is constantly cycled between trainers and so therefore lacks any Economic growth.

As previously mentioned, Adam Smith's 'Wealth of Nations' gives a detailed description of how the supply and demand of labour works and how labour should be distributed. Now, in a world in which fully grown adults lose to a 12 year old boy who has been training and battling for all of eight hours (though a pretty intense eight hours) they immediately lose half their money and so with that in mind a person could lose all their money quite quickly and have to get a job to start fighting again. With all those people who have been defeated and then sent back to their respective towns all job hunting at the same time, the economics of labour says that an employer can then afford to pay less because everybody is competing for what little work there is available and so will take less of a wage. Basically this means that greedy businessmen keep more money and workers get almost nothing, so there are a insanely large amount of unemployed people. While it is true that they could work in the factories making potions or perhaps in the Silph Co buildings, the questing arises WHERE ARE THE POTION FACTORIES?!

As a self proclaimed Nerd, it falls within my duty to know the world of Pokémon in a fairly in depth manner, and I definitely know my way around Kanto and Johto better than I do our own country; but not once have I come across the place where they make the Pokéballs, the potions or even the odd supermarket to feed the few people there actually are.

Abandoned power plants; yes, Caves filled with rock monsters and a cloned psychotic; yes, but never a place needed to sustain the economy. But I imagine, if there was, the FTSE would be entirely poké-based, aside from the odd appearance of bottled water, lemonade and soda pop. Let alone the shares in Pokéballs.

It also becomes clear that to support the amount of unemployment there is the government would have to charge a fairly high level of tax; but it is almost impossible to charge tax on Pokémon trainers, because they are constantly gaining or losing money; sometimes in a matter of seconds; and this raises the question, where is the government? (Side note 2) Perhaps the reason that potions are so expensive is due to a massive amount of VAT being put on them in order to keep the country going; but even so, it is no wonder that there are so little police when so much money would have to go to the NHS style Pokémon centres and as benefits to the poor unemployed workers (Side note 3). The lack of Police seems to be quite a big problem as well; in each circumstance it is left to that same 12 year old that beat up those fully grown adults on the highway to defeat and disband a terrorist organisation or two; accomplishing single handedly what the FBI/CIA/MI6 have been failing to do for years now (though the FBI don't have an electric mouse).

And so to conclude, with investigation it has become clear that:

• Law Enforcement is not left to the three police officers in the entire region, but instead for vigilantly teenagers.
• That the unemployment problem created by the constant cycling of money between Gustaf and Glenda is worse Britain under Thatcher and also dramatically more violent. In this barbaric society in which 12 year olds leave school to watch flying monsters rip each other apart; it is actually applauded when you smash your childhood rival in the face with a Thunder Punch.
• And also that the majority of new financing comes, not from the hard working people of Kanto, but instead from the Black Market (see Side Note 2).

Side notes.

1) Another issue in the Pokémonworld is the complete lack of care for health and safety. Remember that "Plague" thing? Rat's do more than use "Hyper fang" I think you'll find.

2) As previously mentioned, the complete lack of obvious government from the Pokémon world allows crime and terrorism to run rife throughout. This is, until I read up on the manga. In the manga, the eighth gym leader and head of Team Rocket, Giovanni, is supported in his evil schemes by the other gym leaders around the country. To begin with, I was taken aback; why would heroes like Lt. Surge and Sabrina possibly team up with the most evil man in the world? But then it all became clear. There is no obvious enforcer of law within the cities of the Pokémon world, none, other than the gym leaders of each town. Giovanni is indeed the eighth and therefore most powerful gym leader; and so it would make sense for the most powerful gym leader to lead and maintain the other gyms (just like you have a central government body that the police and education systems report to) and so now we all know that Brock and the babe Misty, are all members of Team Rocket. Something they've kept well hidden from Ash wouldn't you say! Maybe they don't even know it themselves; but when it boils down to it, law enforcement is run by the terrorists against the state. It is therefore no surprise that the number of policemen is so low; or that the there is that number of people unemployed; as the black market will always feed off the poverty of others (it is well known that the worse off you, statistically the more likely it is you will end up doing drugs or committing violent acts.). Perhaps now, it is clear to you, dear reader,that what started off as a young Japanese boy's love for animals swiftly turned in to a dark obsession and hatred for those who conform to law and order.

3) And so it comes as even less of a shock to find then, that there is only one state school and all that teaches is Pokémon. Although, you can see why children aren't taught maths; you don't need to know Pi when you only have 6 Pokémon.